So many of the clients that I help are in a place of transition in their lives; they have just come through divorce, they are starting a new career, they are newly widowed, they are learning to live with an “empty nest,” no matter what their transition they are faced with huge changes in their lives. Over and over again I see that for each of these women there seems to be three very basic necessities to surviving this transition. I call them the abc’s of surviving transition.
A – Acceptance
The first thing that is important to remember is you have to accept things have changed. It is never easy, especially because our natural tendency in times of change is to be surrounded with feelings of fear, doubt and worry. Most often change is what we need most for personal growth and I am a firm believer in “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Still it can be hard to accept something, especially if it was a change we didn’t want. The key to remember is when you hold onto something and refuse to accept the transition you open yourself up to emotional and mental health issues. For your emotional, mental and spiritual health it is important to move forward and to find peace in the situation.
B – Belief
The second thing I encourage my clients to do is to believe in themselves and to believe that they will make it through this situation a stronger person. This is never an easy step, but one that is so important to surviving transition. The first step in developing your belief is to celebrate the successes, big or small, because focusing on the good is encouraging and makes us feel better about a situation. Forget about the negativity and focus strongly on the positive. Some days it will be hard to find the positives, but make an effort to search them out. Soon it will become easier and easier. The second step is to set yourself up to win. Find ways to put yourself into situations you know will have a positive outcome. Finally, surround yourself with people who believe in you and are your biggest cheerleaders as they will soon have you believing in yourself as well.
C – Courage
Perhaps the hardest step, but most critical step to surviving transition is finding courage within yourself. It won’t always be easy to “keep going,” especially if the change is something you were fighting and is an unwelcomed change, but it will be important each and every day to take a step forward (even if it is just a baby step).
When you begin practicing these abc’s you will find that you can face any obstacle that life throws in your way with a newfound confidence and an ability to make it through the other side in one piece!!