It can be very challenging on your body, mind and spirit when faced with times of transition, whether it be divorce, a new career, dealing with an empty nest or any of life’s many other encounters. Here are five tips that I share with my clients who are struggling to survive and thrive in the face of transition:
Find a Strong Support System
Divorce seems to be the transition that most of my clients are facing and when faced with divorce one of the biggest changes is losing the support system in their spouse. Through talking with them they are able to realize that truly they lost this support long before they made the final decision to divorce. It is the same in many other transition periods in our lives. Empty nest – “loss” of children. Loss of a job – support of co-workers. The key to getting through a transition is finding a new network of people to support you through the tough times. The best supports come from the people we love such as family and close friends, but I always suggest finding someone who has been in a similar situation in the past and survived. They will be your best ally and role model during this difficult time because let’s face it, just knowing someone else made it through, especially if they are thriving, is always a sense of encouragement.
It can be very easy to isolate ourselves in times of transition, especially when faced with the stress of learning a new “way of life.” When we are busy at work and stressed we can find ourselves not “getting out” like we used to. Many people even suffer from bouts of depression because of the stressful time. The key is to keep moving forward, one step at a time. Try to find excuses to get out such as joining a class or group that meets on a regular basis, something you can put into your calendar and look forward to each week. At the very minimum try not to shut others out because it can become very easy to turn down invitations by others for social events. Even on those really tough days I urge you to persevere and keep moving.
Eating on the go is a No-No
Eating on the go has become a “way of life” today by many busy families. Take the time to re-group by setting a family meal time. It is important for your family to know that even in tough times you understand the importance of family and the role they play in your life. Especially for those empty nesters, it can become easy to “move dinner” into the living room, but get back to the dining table and make dinner time an important time in your family. You will be amazed at how much will be shared during this time and just how healthy it can be for your entire family to have that quality time.
Mindset work can always be hard, but it is so crucial in surviving and thriving. Pay very careful attention to your thought processes and words and don’t allow the negativity to creep in. When stressed at work it can be very easy to say “I can’t handle this.” When faced with divorce it can be very easy to “put the blame on your own shoulders.” Look at yourself as a strong person who will not only survive, but thrive. If you continue to struggle with this negativity, look to professional help or counseling and if that does not feel comfortable, turn to that support network and surround yourself with those people that you know will “pick you up” and make you feel better!
Money and Happiness are not tied together
The final piece of advice I share is a simple reminder that contrary to the thought process of many, money and happiness are not tied together. Allow yourself to understand that for many in a period of transition you are going to find that your money situation is different, but remember that you make your own happiness. Concentrate on that happiness and keep the money factor out of it. Make decisions that feel right to you and if you are concerned whether the financial decisions you are making are the right ones for you and your immediate (and future) situation then don’t be afraid to talk to a Financial Coach.
When you put this advice into practice and you realize that the number one priority in any situation is YOU and keeping your mind, body AND spirit healthy and happy, you can not only survive, but thrive in any time of transition.